Dear Girl, You Don’t Have to Settle


Sweet Sister,
You’ve been on my heart  because I know all to well that seat you’re sitting in—the seat called settling. And I know what a hard seat it is.

The struggle to settle for something less than God’s best is so real.

The seat you’re sitting in—it’s comfortable. It’s secure. It’s enlightening and thrilling. Yet, it’s safe. And I know more than anything that your heart wants to feel safe right now. It wants to feel wanted. Beautiful. Purposeful. Worth it.

You want to feel worth it.

 I also know how much you wonder about getting out of that seat.

What would life look like?”
“Would I be happy?”
“Could I make it?”

I know how much you think about it, and I know how scared you are. Because if you yank yourself out of that settling seat, what if your heart breaks in a million pieces? What if there really isn’t hope beyond it? What if there really isn’t anything or anyone better?

It’s risky, friend. It is absolutely risky.

Because if you choose to get up, your heart might break. It might shatter. Your plans might fall through your fingers and your dreams might fade like morning dew right before your eyes. The way you envisioned your life might shift, flip and rearrange itself. Your daily routine might become radically different. You may find yourself at a complete loss of your own identity—but.


My friend—what if it makes you…free? What if the settling seat is merely the shackle that binds your feet from being all that you were made to be? All that you actually want to be?

I can see your heartbeat—that heart that beats for freedom, longs for freedom, aches for freedom. I see it. And I know the frustration that comes from wanting two things and having to choose one. I know that same question you keep asking yourself,

“ If I take a step, if I choose to let go, will something catch me? Hold me? Cradle my hurts and carry me? Can something actually be better than this?”

Before you decide to take a step or make another glance on the other side of that seat, open your eyes to see the hand being offered to you. The hand of the One who watched you settle deep into that chair in the first place. The One who watched you fall in love with a false sense of security. The One who sees you struggle to decide what you really want. The One who’s been calling your heart from the start to step into freedom and really start living. He calls you still, and He waits.

So before you take that step all in your own will power, take hold of His Hand first. Feel the tight grip and surety of His love for you. Let Him remind you how faithful He is, and how faithful He will be to you. And as that hand tugs you towards freedom—jump. Jump with a trust like you’ve never had for anyone, and watch. Watch as a peace envelopes and embraces that busted heart of yours and as grace binds up those wounds. Watch as he makes you whole again. Free again.

Outside the seat of settling, there is real joy, real peace, true hope and ACTUAL freedom. Oh, sister. We were made for freedom. YOU were made for freedom.

You know it.
I know you want it more than anything.

Freedom costs. Yes it does. But oh– it is so worth it. It is so sweet.

So whatever it is–that job, that boy, that friend, that lifestyle—know this,  you don’t have to settle.

You can be that kind of free you want to be.

Reach out to the hand that is reaching out to you and He’ll take it from there.

Sweet sister, we are rooting for that free soul of yours to come alive again.

A Former Settler



  1. Carolina Hinojosa-Cisneros


    18 . Jul . 2017
  2. A Softer Shade of Red

    Love this.

    18 . Jul . 2017
    • Kaitlin

      Thank you!

      18 . Jul . 2017
  3. Cassidy

    Oh I cannot tell you how much I needed this today. Thank you so much for sharing💛

    18 . Jul . 2017
    • Kaitlin

      I’m so glad it encouraged you ❤️Absolutely!!

      18 . Jul . 2017
  4. loispearson

    This is the best! I was older than average when I got married and I had to remind myself so many times not to settle for the wrong boy. So many people do and I think that is why divorce is so high. Too many people settle for a spouse rather than waiting for God’s choice and God’s plan. Thank you! Well done!

    19 . Jul . 2017
    • Kaitlin

      I know the struggle is real when the pressures on to find “the right guy”. God’s best is THE best! Thanks for dropping in and sharing your wisdom! 🙂

      19 . Jul . 2017
  5. Desiree Montalvo

    Wow! Settling is so comfortable at times and I want to be free from it . Thank you for the push in your words.

    God Bless

    20 . Jul . 2017
    • Kaitlin

      It really is so comfortable! Thank you so much for stopping by. God bless you too!

      20 . Jul . 2017
  6. Tammy

    I needed this today after struggling at a job that is safety for me but certainly is settling. Thanks for reminding us freedom is outside our comfort zone.

    20 . Jul . 2017
    • Kaitlin

      I am praying for you that you will know the nextright decision for your job. It is SO hard not to stay in out comfort zones, but the freedom that comes from leaving it is amazing.

      20 . Jul . 2017
  7. Cassie Wilson

    So encouraging, thank you!

    11 . Aug . 2017
    • Kaitlin

      Absolutely, Cassie!

      11 . Aug . 2017

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