Why Complaining Wrecks Contentment



It’s November, the month of thankfulness, and I am constantly finding myself in a hole of ungratefulness.
I forget my identity. I forget why I was made. I forget the Promise. And I forget His presence.
And I forget it all so quickly.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in what I don’t have, what I don’t feel, and to become absorbed in my flesh that hungers for security, value and worth.
And it’s the everyday, pity-filled phrases, the grumbling under my breath, and the negative thoughts I allow to take root that makes things so much worse.
Grumbling tends to do that.
Grumbling in itself is like looking at a small hole in the ground, taking a shovel to it and making it big enough to shove yourself into. Eventually, we bury ourselves so deep in bitterness and it is tougher than junk to get out of.

But isn’t it amazing how natural and seemingly innocent grumbling and complaining is? It’s totally acceptable and even a normal part of our conversations. Grumbling is one of those “dismissible sins” that we don’t think matter that much. (Hello, guilty as charged.) Yet in reality it has caused a  w h i r l w i n d  of trouble in the past.

In their journey to the Promised Land, the Israelites actually excelled in the area of grumbling. Through their travels, they constantly asked God where He was and daily complained to their leaders about how they wished they were dead.  No matter how many miracles they witnessed, they still doubted His hand in their lives. Even though God proved Himself faithful multiple times, the Israelites still grumbled to their leaders:

“If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.” Exodus 16:3
“Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?”  Exodus 17:3

Through their desert journey, God allowed harsh circumstances to happen to the Israelites so they would put their trust in Him alone. With each act of obedience or trust, fruits would grow in their hearts as they relied on God and watched Him come through. They praised Him (Exodus 15). They believed Him (Ex. 14:31). They made promises to Him (Ex 19:8). However, as trials arose, they consistently grumbled and complained, which caused those fruits to shrivel up.

Grumbling causes us to forget God’s faithfulness because our gaze becomes fixed on what we can’t see rather on what we’ve seen before. When we complain, we use our words to speak death over our circumstances. It weakens our hearts and allows discontentment to breed and multiply into every area of our lives. Complaining is such a big deal because it is detrimental to the good fruits God is trying to produce in our lives. Trust is nourishment for these fruits, grumbling is poison. After all, complaining wrecks contentment.

But gratefulness, on the other hand, causes us to remember God’s faithfulness in the past. By keeping track of how God has come through in previous trials, it helps us to cling to Him all the more.


But how in the world are we supposed to practice gratefulness in a society that operates out of discontentment? There are messages flying around everywhere we go saying:
This isn’t fast enough. This isn’t efficient enough. Work harder. Push faster. You don’t have this. You need this. Be this. Don’t be that. You’re not enough, be THIS to be enough. This isn’t satisfying.

Yet, Philippians 2:14-16 gives us life changing advice of how to live counter-culturally in a discontented society. It says,

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.”

If grumbling causes us to blend in with the rest of the world, then the simple act of not complaining actually sets us apart– like bright lights in a dark sky. Not complaining and grumbling, even in small things, causes others to see that our hearts are rooted in contentment. And if the very act of not grumbling makes a significant difference in the way people see us, imagine the good it does to our own hearts? In our seasons of wandering, we can hold fast to the “word of life” and trust that even through the brokenness, confusion and chaos, He is for our good. He will work this all out and use every season. Because of this, we can speak  goodness into existence rather than speaking death and discontentment over ourselves.

As we wander, may our hearts not become wrapped up in unbelief, forgetfulness, and selfishness that cause us to complain about our circumstances. Rather, may we remember the faithfulness of God in generations past and in our own lives, and in turn, live our lives in the assurance of the promise that we are running after.

After all, the antidote to grumbling is gratefulness.


If you missed last week’s post, click here!



  1. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Great post, Kaitlin.

    In dealing with terminal illness and some really awful recent events – one of which was a tragedy, and my fault – I’ve lost my sense of identity, worth, and almost everything else that had buttressed me over the years.

    One thing remains, though – my life is not about me. It’s about what I can do for others, in terms of help and encouragement. And there’s no allowance for any expected quid pro quo.

    Duty is, in the end, Salvation. Just as Jesus’ carrying out His duty – “Not My will, but Thine be done” – brought Salvation to us all.

    God bless.


    14 . Nov . 2016
  2. Kaitlin Garrison

    I feel like I’m always learning that lesson too- ” It’s not about me!”
    It’s such a crazy concept to wrap my head around. But like you said, the right perspective is giving up our will for His.
    Thanks for stopping by & sharing your story!

    14 . Nov . 2016
  3. Dana

    Love this! Even when I’m mindful of my complaining and try to turn it around, I still sometimes do it, mostly about my first-world inconveniences. Thanks for the reminder.

    14 . Nov . 2016
    • Kaitlin Garrison

      Yowzers, me too! I sometimes view those things as “needs” rather than “conveniences”.
      Thank you for your post earlier on thankfulness (and migraines)! It went hand in hand with me learning how to be grateful rather than grumbling!

      14 . Nov . 2016
  4. izziemakesyoudizzie

    Thank you for this reminder! I have been living in a grumbling state of being for a while and I know that needs to change. This was a really good post. Looking to God, instead of ourselves. Of course we don’t find joy in others the way we can find it in God. We were made to be in a relationship with Him. He completes us. Not other things around us. He gives us things, but first and foremost we have to remember Who the giver is!

    15 . Nov . 2016
    • Kaitlin Garrison

      Yes, me too! I love that– We have to remember who the Giver is!
      I miss you so much! <3

      15 . Nov . 2016
      • izziemakesyoudizzie

        Yes! Oh my goodness!!! Me too!!!! I really miss eating pizza and talking and laughing! Have a beautiful day!

        15 . Nov . 2016
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    […] If you missed last week, click HERE! […]

    20 . Nov . 2016

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