Real Friends Confront {{Day 26}}



//Ya’ll. I hate this word.
It makes everything inside of me cringe.
Confrontation is probably one of the things I hate the most when it comes to relationships. I don’t like to rock the boat, hurt feelings or open up the risk for an argument to break out. If there is any way for me to opt out of confrontation, you better believe I’ll take it.

The past couple of weeks I have been reading articles, listening to podcasts and hearing stories that have all *conveniently* been about what characterizes a good friend. They listed things from encouragement to caring for one another in hardship; but one quality they really harped on was having the boldness to confront a friend where correction or a word of truth is needed. A friendship grows to new lengths when we are willing to be gut honest and bold with our friends. It shows how much we genuinely care about them and sincerely desire what’s best for them.

I slumped down in my seat as I read those words because I know I’m not really that friend. As sad as it is, I am often not a truth teller in situations like that. I’m a back scratcher and a “yes” friend.

I don’t want to be that  friend anymore.//


“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6

The truth is, I have so many friends who have been willing to hurt my feelings for the sake of my well being. If it hadn’t been for their confrontation of issues in my life, I never would have recognized and forsaken very unhealthy habits.

Even in confronting somebody, it shouldn’t be done out of a spirit of “I’m right and you’re wrong.” It should be done out of love and grace while still communicating truth.

Good friends watch each other’s backs and guard their friends’ lives just as they would guard their own. This is amazing. And I want to be like that. I want to value my friends’ well being more than I do my uncomfortable feelings.

I’ve always viewed confrontation in a negative light. But maybe instead of seeing it as a hateful thing to do, I can see if for what it can be -an act of love. It can be an act of love when done with a right heart that seeks for a friend to be uplifted, not just for me to be proven “right”. Even though confronting can be uncomfortable, it can and should still be done in love, kindness, grace and respect for the other person. Because true friends are willing to wound,  it might just save them from a serious injury later on.


This post is Day 26 of Five Minute Free Writes for the Write 31 Days Challenge.

Top Photo Credit: Christina Hubbard of Creative and Free.




  1. Linda Guteres

    Great piece, well written…but…we need to pray for wisdom, kindness and guidance when confronting. I need to pray that I’m not trying to impose my views, values, morals onto someone else and that I’m confronting out of love…true, pure love. I’ve been “confronted” by the best with people saying they had the greatest of intentions and they have ripped me to shreds. I can remember one instance in particular that I was sitting in front of my “friend” as she confronted me across a desk as I sobbed and my body shook. She didn’t stop. This was not the confrontation you speak of. It was torture. I NEVER want to do THAT to anyone!

    26 . Oct . 2016
  2. Kaitlin Garrison

    Yes I totally agree! Confrontation needs to be spoken in love, truth, kindness and grace. I’m so sorry somebody “tortured” you like that! Blegh. It is not fun to be on the receiving end of that. That’s just plain disrespectful and not okay!

    26 . Oct . 2016
  3. Prasanta

    You have a lovely blog; I love your photos!
    Ah… confrontation. *wince* Yet so true… done out of love, it is LOVING for our friends. I know what you mean about being a “yes” friend… been there, too, my friend. One book that might help is called The Peacemaker by Ken Sande (I’ll be referring to it in a future post).

    29 . Oct . 2016

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