My Not So Secret Lover


You’re the first face I see when I wake up in the morning,
The last when I go to bed.
You have all of my attention
Before a word is even said.
There is so much to know about you,
I don’t think I’ll ever stop
Searching, longing to know this love that has me caught.
I catch myself staring at you all throughout the day,
Your charm is ever changing,
I can rarely look away.
Even in a crowded room you always have my gaze.
Because nothing else matters when you’re in front of my face.
In you, I find the cure to my gaping loneliness,
Because you’re faithfully there for me at my every request.

Most say our love is inseparable.

When my relationships fail, your a constant one
I always go to you, because I know you won’t run.
To touch you is something I crave and long for,
Our love is thriving because we give each other more
Time and focus than any one in our lives
With eyes always on each other, you keep me satisfied.
I give you more of myself than anyone I know,
For you are my beloved, faithful iPhone.

Read it again. 

Its pretty true, isn’t it?

It shouldn’t be this way.

According to a study done at Baylor University, “women college students spend an average of ten hours a day on their cellphones and men college students spend nearly eight“.

Ten hours a day- Are you kidding me? 

And, according to a study done at Harvard, out of 1600 participants:

  • 70% said they check their smartphone within an hour of getting up.
  • 56% check their phone within an hour of going to sleep.
  • 48% check over the weekend, including on Friday and Saturday nights.
  • 51% check continuously during vacation.
  • 44% said they would experience “a great deal of anxiety” if they lost their phone and couldn’t replace it for a week.

We’re draining our brains for ten hours a day looking at pictures, videos, other people’s daily #struggles on Facebook, playing games and seeing how ‘liked’ we are.

Meanwhile the people that love us have our divided attention as we live life with them while being somewhere else mentally.

These wasted hours could have been spent with friends and family. Minutes that could have been spent encouraging or checking up on a friend. Time that could be spent in the Word. Time spent just being intentional with someone else.

How much life are we missing out on here?

How much are we neglecting our relationships? Our friendships?

For something that promises connection, it sure acts as an agent in helping us lose it with the people right in front of us.

Something that was meant to be a tool, has become a tyrant of time. 

What was meant to be merely a device, has become divisive. 

What was intended to bring people together, has separated us more than ever.

Don’t get me wrong- Phones can be good and helpful!

Yet, like every good thing- Balance has to be present.

And I don’t really know what that looks like- but I’m trying to figure it out.

Because how sad to get to the end of my life and realize I missed out on knowing God deeper, giving my full attention to my husband, my kids (future, I’m not preggers), ministry, my friendships, and reaching out to others because my face was glued to a screen. 

I don’t want those around me to be starved for my attention because I gave too much of it to an object.

Let us put the dang phone down– and really be present for those around us.

And, if you’re an addict like me, take the Hands Free Challenge! It’s a great place to start!


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